So far, all I've done is rag on Frozen and it's faults. To prove I'm not a complete cloud of criticism, I decided to take it upon myself to rewrite Frozen into something I liked, which I know is pretty pretentious, but... yeah. Here's what I hope to accomplish:
- Because it's a movie about a relationship between sisters, I want to make both sisters equally important.
- Make the trolls non-retarded and aggravating.
- Reduce the amount of side characters.
- Reduce the amount of physical locations.
- Hopefully, eliminate any convenient plot devices.
Note: Text that are in brackets and italicized are my form of stage directions/things that don't translate well into text. It's a mixture of traditional writing, screenplay, and laziness. Mainly laziness.
Without further ado, Frozen Rewritten.
A thick layer of snow blanketed the land, stretching all the way from the tip of the North Mountain to Arrendale, which lay nestled in the fjord just beyond the base of the mountain. The snow, however, did little to deter the trolls. The resilient grey creatures, reminiscent of boulders, had a task to do and nothing would stop them. Forming a circle, they began to chant [Vuelie ft. Cantus]. Ever so slowly, the world began to wake to the music. Snow gave way to grass, and the oceans and rivers came to life once more. Animals emerged from their long months of hibernation, birds returned from their migration from the south, and the flowers burst into bloom like tiny fireworks. Spring came with the song of the trolls.
Arrendale was no exception. People threw open shutters that had been locked tight, basking in the sunlight. The streets that were once empty became filled with merriment and joy [The people of Arrendale sing a song that will replace Frozen Heart. Camera pans through Arrendale, eventually going to the castle and the two sisters].
Elsa sat in her room at her candlelit desk, book in hand. A History of the Kingdom of Arrendale, Vol III. She was reading about the first exploration up the North Mountain, led by her great-great grandfather when there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," she called out, her eyes never leaving the pages. A few seconds later, she was tackled by her younger sister, Anna, who knocked the book out of her hands playfully.
"Come on, Elsa! It's Spring! Let's go build a snowman!" Anna cried out.
"You can't build a snowman in Spring, silly. All the snow's melted. You had all winter to build a snowman." Elsa picked up the book and dusted it off. She had lost her page.
"But it's too cold in winter! Besides, you can make snowmen whenever you want. Dozens of 'em." Anna replied, resolute. She was not leaving the room without her sister.
"Let me finish my book first."
Anna marched over to the window and threw open the drapes. Elsa had to admit--the day looked gorgeous.
Elsa sighed and smiled. Anna had won. "Alright, lets go build a snowman."
The two girls ran outside to the castle courtyard, which was still empty. Most of the servants were inside, clearing out the dust that had accumulated.
"Do the magic!" cried Anna.
Elsa released a snowflake into the air, where it hovered for a second before shattering into a million pieces, causing it to snow. The two girls set off to build a snowman with vigor. After an hour of work, Anna grew bored, leaving the snowman half finished.
"Catch me!" Anna shouted, hurling herself at a snowdrift. She began to hop from one to another as Elsa desperately tried to keep her sister from falling.
"Slow down!" Elsa cried, but Anna was having too much fun. Elsa slipped, and in desperation, accidentally struck her sister in the head with her magic. "Anna, are you alright? Anna, wake up! Mama! Papa!"
There is nothing that moves faster than a panicked parent. The King and Queen were at Elsa's side in a flash. The King quickly surveyed the situation. "Oh Elsa, what have you done?"
The Queen cradled Anna in her arms. "She's as cold as ice!"
"I know where we have to go. To the stables. Quickly!" [The four set off for the foot of the North Mountain, where the trolls live. Their village is set in a circle surrounding a lit bonfire. There, the trolls greet them, in a manner befitting the King.]
The village elder gave the King a bow. "Your majesty. What brings you to our village tonight?"
"It's my daughter. She needs your help."
"Let me see." The troll relieved the Queen of Anna. "Yes, yes. It looks like she has been struck in the head with magic. Am I correct?" Elsa nodded.
The troll continued. "The head is easily persuaded. I recommend removing all magic--even memories of magic--for her own protection, of course. While the magic is harmless in itself for now, it could easily become very dangerous. Your sister would remain safer if she did not know until you learn to master your powers."
[The King agrees, etc. Cut back to the castle. There, we begin Do You Want to Build a Snowman, except slightly modified. Instead of fooling around being scared, the sisters are actually going to develop personalities. First off, when the sisters are young, Anna will be playing outside the door, begging Elsa to come out. Elsa will be inside, reading. Setting her up to be an intellectual and all that. When they hit ~10 years, they begin to take lessons from a tutor. The same tutor, but two different sessions. Anna is constantly trying to runaway and/or prank the teacher, while Elsa switches between gazing off into the distance, worrying about her powers, and getting the answers all right without even trying. For the funeral, Anna is the one that stands with the congregation. But once the ceremony is over and everyone has left, Anna turns around and sees Elsa alone at the grave of their parents, laying a flower at each of the tombstones. At this point, the relationship between the sisters is pretty much dead. Hopefully, we'll build it up again throughout the course of the movie.]
[3 years later, it's Coronation day! Anna sings For the First Time in Forever. She meets Hans, and they have their little moment together. Foreign dignitaries pour into the castle, including a convoy from the trolls.]
Elsa stood before the portrait of her father, her hands trembling. She hadn't mastered her magic. Not completely. There were still times where it got away from her, and with disastrous results. A thin layer of frost covered the surface of the scepter as soon as she tried to pick it up. She hastily put her gloves back on. Conceal, don't feel. Don't let it show. It was time for the ceremony.
The bishop took his place at the podium, and out of the corner of her eye, Elsa spotted Anna, who was distracted, as usual. Elsa could feel the gaze of the crowd on her back. Soon she would have to face them. The bishop finished his recitation after what felt like an eternity. Elsa reached for the scepter and ornament, but the bishop cleared his throat.
"The gloves, your majesty."
Of course, the gloves. Elsa took them off and laid them to the side. Her heart was pounding. She took a deep breath, held it, picked up the objects and turned to face the crowd. It was her turn to recite.
"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing amet--" her mind went blank. All the time spent studying the texts, all the time spent memorizing each and every painstaking word of the Vow, and her memory failed her when she needed it most. The eyes of the crowd bore into her, staring straight through her guise as if they knew her secret.
"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing amet--" she tried again, but to no avail. Her heart began to race. She could feel the frost creeping up ever so slowly. "adipiscing amet..."
"Elsa? Are you alright?" Anna asked anxiously.
Elsa, startled out of her trance, dropped the ornament. Brittle from the cold, it shattered on the floor. A collective gasp came from the crowd. Anna stared at her sister, confused.
"Elsa, what's going on?"
"Anna, I--" Time seemed to freeze for Elsa [Get it?]. She could hear the murmurs and whispers from the crowd growing louder.
"Sorcery!" A voice shouted.
Elsa turned tail and began to run. Her footsteps left a trail of ice wherever she touched the ground. She made a beeline for the familiarity of her room and locked the door behind her. However, her panic did not subside. The walls of the room were quickly encased in a layer of ice, slowly expanding outside the room. There was a sharp knock on the door.
"Elsa! What's going on? Are you alright in there? Let me in, please!" Anna begged.
Elsa sat curled on her bed. She opened her mouth, but the words wouldn't come. She buried her head in her arms.
A servant touched Anna on the arm. "Princess Anna, we're evacuating the castle. It's not safe here."
"What? Who gave that order? I'm not leaving my sister. She needs me."
"Princess Anna! Please!"
[Hans comes and leads Anna away, despite her protests. The castle is evacuated and encased in crystalline ice. The convoy of trolls form a circle around the castle, and begin to work their own magic, chanting softly. They create a bubble, confining Elsa's magic inside. A light snowfall begins, so it looks like a giant snow globe with a castle. END ACT I]
This took a lot longer than I expected... it's a mixture of expanding a synopsis I wrote and condensing a movie. As far as differences go, Act I isn't that different from the movie. Act II and III, however, will stray further from the original material.
